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Funny! Church Ladies with Typewriters

In the “things that make you go, huh?” category… 23 funny quotes from church publications.
Sometimes you just need a laugh to relieve stress during the day. As a writer, I have always gotten a kick out of sentence and structure mistakes that become humorous when read out loud. Certainly they are innocent mistakes, and I have made plenty myself. Please understand, I am not making fun of people who write bulletins for their church or any other type of writer. We are all just doing our best, learning as we go. No matter what, I think it is healthy to be able to laugh at a mistake. Getting upset about it sure doesn’t help.

“The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.”

“Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.”

The mistakes I am reprinting here were gathered from the Internet. I make no claims of their origin or validity, they could all be made up for all I know, but they are FUNNY.
Which one of these is your favorite? Please comment below. Thank you.


These missteps appeared in church bulletins or were announced in services:

1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
2. The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

More laughs >>

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3. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
4. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
5. Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

6. Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
7. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
8. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

9. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

10. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
11. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
12. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
13. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
14. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
15. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
16. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
17. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
18. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
19. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
20. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
21. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
22. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
23. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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posted by Tracy Ready in Humor,Writing and have Comments (3)

3 Responses to “Funny! Church Ladies with Typewriters”

  1. These are too funny! Love church humor and these are wonderful reasons why!

  2. Fasting and prayer meeting will include meals! That’s hilarious. I love these. I once did a feature on my writing blog about funny signs with grammar mistakes in them. It’s good to have a laugh now and then.

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